Mister Silver Springs
by jessseri
Summary: Julian decides to leave and Logan comes to a realization.  Three part Jogan, inspired by the Rumours episode and my inability to stop listening to Fleetwood Mac.  CP Coulter Daltonverse. M for language only.
1. Chapter 1

**Characters are property of CP Coulter. I definitely do not own Dalton or Glee. I also don't own Fleetwood Mac or their lovely song "Silver Springs" (which Julian alters a bit).**

**Not super realistic characterization, but I like the idea of Logan waking up and I love "Silver Springs" as a Julian to Logan song.**

**Enjoy!**

It wasn't rational. They fought more than they laughed. Actually, Julian couldn't even remember the last time a conversation wasn't yelled between the two boys, let alone the last time they laughed together. It wasn't even a rational friendship, let alone a rational… Well, the best he could do was call it a crush. Not because it was superficial or because it was new. No, it was only a crush because Logan didn't reciprocate. Logan didn't care. Logan didn't notice.

Some days it was hard to figure out how he had gotten here. How had he fallen in love with his best friend when his "friend" was more like a yelling partner and he couldn't remember the last time they had talked about something personal?

But that was the answer to his question. They had been friends. They had shared intimate conversations, stayed up all night with Derek playing video games freshman year, and they had even managed to smile more than they yelled.

Now Julian had a love hate relationship with the arguments. It was the only way he could get Logan to himself. It was passionate. The only way he knew that Logan cared at all. Cared enough to scream at Julian when he could just walk away. Sometimes it was the best part of Julian's day. He liked the interaction and he liked to get a rise out of Logan. But it was so tiring. It was only fun until Julian wondered if Logan was having fun too. It was only fun until Julian realized that Logan was too preoccupied with Kurt to see anyone as something more than a stepping stone to that goal.

And here he was again. Tired. Tired of being Logan's pawn instead of his friend - instead of his lover.

Suddenly the question became how he had _stayed_ in love with his best friend when he didn't think they were friends anymore.

"_You wouldn't understand. I love him. And he… He could love me. I saw it in his eyes."_

The words Logan had yelled not even an hour ago lingered in his mind. Julian sat down at the piano of the large hall and sighed. Logan wouldn't think to follow him here and maybe he could finally reclaim his thoughts.

Somehow he always ended up back in this hall. Even without being a member of the Warblers, the hall had ended up growing on him. Maybe the many years of drama had attached themselves to the hall like a scent left on a sweater, triggering fond memories.

But this was going to be the last time he let the hall make him remember. If the boy he loved couldn't keep him here anymore, neither could his stalker. And after his last blowout with Logan…well, Julian was leaving.

How could he keep hoping after all that had happened?

"_I love him. And he… He could love me."_

Julian placed his fingers gently on the keys and took a deep breath.

_You could be my silver springs_

_Blue green colors flashing_

Slowly he started to move his fingers across the keys and continued.

_I would be your only dream_

_Your shining autumn, ocean crashing_

_And did you say that he's pretty_

_And did you say that he'd love you_

_Baby, I don't wanna know_

Logan wandered the halls of Dalton, trying to cool down amidst the crowded halls. Maybe, for once, he would let the presence of fellow students keep him from making a scene. Or maybe he would find himself at the keys of the Warbler piano, singing a somber song.

He wondered what compelled him to sing something sad when, a few minutes ago, he had wanted to tear Julian's face off. If his best friend didn't believe he had a chance, was it time to give up? After initial concerns, Julian had _always_ been there to cheer him on in his romantic endeavors.

Or maybe his compulsion to sing a somber song came from the one that slowly grew louder as he approached the Warbler Hall.

_Turn around, see me runnin'_

_I'll say I loved you years ago_

_Tell myself you never loved me_

A love song. Logan let out a silent bitter laugh at himself. So Julian was heartbroken? Was that why he had flipped out earlier?

_And did you say he was pretty?_

_And did you say that he'd love you?_

_Baby, I don't wanna know_

_Oh, no_

_And can you tell me was it worth it?_

_Really, I don't wanna know_

Logan hesitated at the doorway, looking in. Julian would run away if he saw him listening. So Logan decided to wait quietly. He wanted to hear this.

_Time casts a spell on you, but you won't forget me_

_I know I could have loved you, but you would not let me_

_I'll follow you down til the sound of my voice will haunt you_

But Logan couldn't resist the temptation of joining the chorus of the familiar song and as soon as he did, the music stopped and Julian spun around, panic faced.

"Fuck, Logan," he spat, startled at hearing the boy, and immediately rose to leave the hall.

Logan reached to grab Julian's arm, but Julian brushed by it and toward the door.

"Good bye, Logan."

Logan scoffed. "You haven't cooled down yet? Okay, fine, goodbye. I'll talk to you tonight."

Julian stopped and paused, considering whether he should keep walking.

"No, you won't." Julian didn't bother turning around. "I took the movie after all."

Logan scoffed again. "Well then, I'll talk to you whenever you get back. You weren't even gonna say goodbye, were you? That's fine. Fuck you. I'll see you in a few months."

Julian swallowed. This was it. _No you won't_. It was all he had to say. _I'm not coming back_. It would make Logan furious. A chance to fight. But what if it didn't make Logan furious? What if it did, for that matter? He was leaving to avoid the fights. Because they were an unhealthy addiction. Because they hurt physically as much as they hurt emotionally. Because they were the best he could get from Logan and they weren't enough.

Logan's brow furrowed further. Julian had paused for too long. "Jules…You are coming back, aren't you?"

His voice was softer than Julian was ready for. And so he just walked away, pretending Logan would just quit.

Logan made a move to follow his friend, but stopped and turned back to look at the piano. For a second he started to think about "Silver Springs." But there was no time. Julian was leaving and, goddammit, Logan deserved an explanation.

As he exited the building, he ran to catch up with his friend.

"What the hell, Jules?" Logan grabbed Julian's shoulder to turn him around. Maybe if Julian hadn't been wearing his trademark sunglasses, Logan would've seen the red eyes Julian was desperately hiding.

Julian managed a faint but firm "go away, Logan" before turning and continuing to walk.

"Why are you being such a baby?" Logan called, following after him. "Just tell me what's wrong. I'm your friend; we'll fix this and then you can stay and get back to –"

Logan had begun to smirk as he got to the end of his plan, but Julian had stopped dead in his tracks and Logan's smirk disappeared when he turned to see what had startled Julian.

On the bench outside of Stuart was a crash test dummy. This alone would have been weird enough - disturbing enough – but Logan saw red liquid across the dummy's chest. Blood. A message in blood. Did people really do that?

He took a closer look at the small red script.

_DON'T WORRY – I'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM FOR YOU.  
>DON'T LEAVE FOR HIM – STAY FOR ME.<em>

It was a fairly long message, Logan thought. Precisely done. The letters had stopped dripping, which meant it hadn't been done too recently. But they had dripped onto the bench. How had it gotten here without anyone noticing who did it?

As soon as one Stuart walked out and seen the display, a crowd followed to see what their friend was talking about. This included a determined Derek who pushed his way past the younger students. Briefly seeing the note, he turned to Logan and Julian, who was so panicked that he looked like he might topple over any minute.

"Logan, take Julian up to your room. I'll take care of this." And then he turned toward the gawking Stuarts. "All of you! Inside. Now."

The boys hesitated for only a second before following orders. Derek's yell startled Logan back to the real world. He grabbed Julian's hand and pulled him up the stairs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Again, characters are property of CP Coulter's Dalton and Glee (briefly).**

**Carry on :)**

Logan had given up apologizing for his mistakes a long time ago. He made too many of them and they were frequently inexcusable anyway. When he was younger, he had briefly tried to live up to his father's expectations and had spent all of his time apologizing. But that had been a miserable way to live and he was much happier doing what he wanted. Well, maybe not _happy_, but _happier_. More like himself. And he was done regretting being himself and definitely done with apologizing for it.

Like one of the times Julian had gotten in the way when Logan was in a bad mood. The next day when Julian glared at him with one eye – the other black and swollen from Logan's right hand – Logan hadn't felt compelled to apologize. Not even for a second. That was just who he was. He hurt his friends. He hurt everyone.

Like the time he forgot to tell Julian that he was going to get some food with Blaine instead of getting coffee with Jules like they had planned. He hadn't even faked a sorry for Julian when his best friend casually told a story that night about the barista at their favorite coffee shop.

Like hours earlier, when Logan had told Julian that he should get some more sleep because he looked like shit. It turned into a screaming match like it always did. He hadn't even seen Julian's eyes change – Julian's _mind_ change – when Logan suggested that he go shoot his dumb fucking movie. Maybe he'd get some attention from his stalker. That's what he had wanted, right? Attention? That's why he bitched about Kurt, right? He _had _noticed how Julian crumpled like Logan was exactly right. But he wasn't sorry. That's what he did. He hurt everyone. He hurt Julian.

Now, with Julian locked in Logan's bathroom, showing no signs of coming out any time soon, Logan – desperate to forget what he just saw outside - really thought about the song Julian was singing. And all at once, all of the regrets he never felt came pouring in.

He shouldn't have let his anger get the better of him. Then or any time. He should have kissed Julian's black eye and begged for his forgiveness. He shouldn't have stood Julian up. And he never ever should have told Julian to leave. Because if Julian left Logan would fall apart.

And Julian was right. "Silver Springs." If Julian left, Logan would watch all of Julian's movies. He would watch Julian cry on screen and wonder if Julian was imagining something Logan had done. Julian would follow Logan down til his voice –his face – his Cheshire grin – would haunt him.

Somewhere in his imagination, Logan briefly stumbled across the thought that he had wanted to kiss Julian's black eye. And when he thought about bitterly watching Julian Larson movies, they were romances, and he was thinking that Julian shouldn't be kissing those blonde women on screen because he should be kissing him.

It was at this point that all of Logan's regrets formed one specific question: How could he do all of that to the boy he was in love with?

There were a number of problems with this question. It wasn't the answer, because Logan knew that: he was fucked up. The problem with this question was that Julian was straight and even less attainable than Kurt. Kurt was another problem; hadn't he been in love with Kurt earlier that week?

Kurt. Kurt the diva. Kurt who would fight back with Logan. Kurt who actually thought about Logan's well being. Kurt… who he could never bring home to meet his father. He would hate Kurt. Senator Wright already liked Julian, though surely that would change if he was dating the Senator's son.

Which would never happen. Because Julian was straight. Right, back to that problem.

But Logan wasn't the type to deal with unsolvable problems. Sure, he loved challenges, but not impossibilities. It was why he gave up on apologizing. So instead of his mind wandering to plans to convert his best friend, Logan decided to solve a different problem.

He walked quietly to his bathroom and put his hand flat against the door. "Julian…can I come in?"

"No."

Logan tried to decide from one word whether it sounded like Julian was crying. It didn't. But it had only been one word. He gently added, "Then can you come out?"

For a moment, Logan didn't think Julian was going to respond. But then the door creaked open and Julian stood in the doorway. The pale look of just having seen a ghost was fainter, but still present, on his face. Without his sunglasses, Logan could see Julian's eyes, and he couldn't help but wonder whether they had been that red before they arrived back at Stuart.

"Is this it? Is this what you've been hiding from me?" Logan tried to keep quiet, but his anger was still unmistakable. "How long has this been happening? Why won't you let me help you?"

With a sudden burst of energy and anger, Julian stormed closer to Logan.

"You want to know what's wrong? You want to help fix things? My stalker? The one who I'm _so desperate_ to get the attention of?" He didn't miss Logan cringe at this. "This isn't the first time they…left me a present. The last time I tried to leave –"

"You tried to what?" Logan hadn't been informed of Julian's plans a few weeks earlier.

"Like you give a crap," Julian rolled his eyes before continuing. "You just _told _me to leave. But I can't. They won't let me. GOD. I just want to leave here and forget everything and I can't. I can't stay and I can't leave and now I can't sleep. The first time –"

"When?" Logan's interruption was almost too quiet for Julian to notice, but now his calmness was only more upsetting to Julian. Couldn't he even argue properly anymore?

"Will you stop fucking interrupting me? A few weeks ago. After the fair."

After Logan realized that Julian wasn't continuing, he regretted interrupting him. There was that stupid regret again. He pried on, "Jules, please, I'm sorry about what I said before. I, just - what happened after the fair?"

"My stalker. She – he – there was blood on the stairs and an old picture. I barely slept for two weeks. Derek started sitting with me until I fell asleep at night, but…"

"But?"

"But he wasn't there when I would wake up in a few hours."

"You're telling me you haven't slept more than a few hours for three weeks now?" Logan's tone picked back up and Julian wondered why he sounded so defensive.

Julian didn't answer but sat down on Logan's bed, looking down at his hands.

"Stay here tonight." He wasn't asking, but Logan tried to say this softly enough that Julian knew it was just a suggestion. "I'll be here all night. Please, let me make this afternoon up to you. Hell, let me make this past year up to you."

Julian chuckled lightly. He considered the idea. It was probably a terrible plan to spend the night beside the boy he desired, but as he sat still and felt the faint ache of his eyelids, all he could think of was sleep.

"Okay."


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own the characters (they're from CP Coulter's Dalton and Glee) or the song (Fleetwood Mac's "Oh Daddy"). **

**Here you have it:**

After a silent debate about whether he should let Julian out of his sights for even a minute, Logan had suggested that Julian go get some things from his room while Derek caught him up to speed. Derek had wanted to call the police, but it was getting dark and Julian had been so adamant last time that Derek had instead decided to clean up the bench and move the dummy. Logan didn't know where he put this, but he also didn't know how long Julian would take and he had more important questions that he guessed Julian wouldn't want to deal with.

"Do you think he's a Dalton student?"

It must have been the first time Derek had considered Julian having a male stalker because his eyebrows raised and his eyes darted back and forth in contemplation. "That would make sense."

"He knew when Julian was leaving. Both times."

"He knew _why_ Julian was leaving."

Logan thought about how he didn't know either of these things.

"So we've decided it's a he, have we?" Julian startled the two boys as he pushed open Logan's door.

"Are you sleeping here tonight?" Derek asked, eyeing Julian's sweat pants and carefully avoiding the question.

Julian hummed an affirmative and hesitated awkwardly before adding, "Hopefully."

He sat down on Logan's bed while the other two boys hovered by the doorway, looking back from each other to Julian. Logan broke the silence. "Go to sleep, Derek. He'll be fine here, and I have your number. And you live a door down."

Obliging, Derek gave a faint smile to Julian and left with a quiet "good bye." Logan followed the closing door and locked it before turning around to his friend.

"I'm gonna change and then I guess we can turn in."

Logan suddenly realized how awkward this was going to be. He had changed in front of Julian before, and hell, they had even shared a bed on vacations. But now Logan was armed with the knowledge that he wanted more than friendship from the boy and he had the sneaking suspicion that _he_ was the "why" Derek had mentioned before. Logan felt like a preteen on his first date.

After grabbing his pajamas, he casually walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth, leaving the door open. He could still hear the boy on his bed if he needed to, but here he was out of sight and could change without an awkward blush creeping onto his face.

When he came out, Julian was laying down on the bed, on the edge toward the bathroom. Julian's eyes followed Logan as he turned on the bedside lamp and turned off the main light. He turned onto his back when Logan walked around the bed and sat down.

"How long does it usually take you to fall asleep?" he asked quietly.

"Impatient ass-"

Logan cut him off before he finished the insult. "It was just a question."

"I don't know, an hour? It depends on the day."

Logan hesitated, wondering if his suggestion would sound as stupid out loud as it did in his head. "I could sing you a lullaby?"

It did. No, it sounded worse. But Julian turned onto his other side, facing Logan's legs. "Okay."

Logan's eyes lit up a bit and he considered what to sing to the boy curled up beside him. As he gently laid his arm on Julian's shoulder, he decided to respond to Julian's earlier song. Logan turned off the bedside light and felt Julian tense up. But as Logan began to sing, Julian's shoulders relaxed.

_Oh Daddy,_

_You know you make me cry,_

_How can you love me,_

_I don't understand why._

Julian doesn't recognize the song at first.

_Oh Daddy,_

_If I can make you see,_

_If there's been a fool around,_

_It's got to be me._

Logan's voice was nothing like the feminine original, but Julian was pretty sure he'd never heard Logan sound so gentle.

_Oh Daddy,_

_You soothe me with your smile,_

_You're letting me know,_

_You're the best thing in my life._

Julian might have been surprised by how successful of a lullaby the song was, but instead he slowly fell asleep.

_Oh Daddy,_

_If I can make you see,_

_If there's been a fool around,_

_It's got to be me._

And Julian barely felt it when Logan started to lightly run his hand through his friend's hair.

_Why are you right when I'm so wrong,_

_I'm so weak, but you're so strong,_

_Everything you do is jut alright._

_And I can't walk away from you,_

_Baby, if I tried._

Logan didn't know when Julian had fallen asleep, but he looked down at the boy that he was almost holding and saw him looking more peaceful than he had in weeks. Carefully, Logan slipped down until he was lying face to face with his friend, leaving his arm around the gently sleeping boy. With one last glimpse, Logan closed his eyes and let himself fall asleep.

Just as Julian had predicted, about two hours later, he woke with small start. He gasped as he noticed how close Logan's lips were to his own. At this gasp, Logan started himself.

"Are you okay?" He asked, probably a little more panicked than the situation called for.

"Logan, why did you sing that song to me?"

Julian spoke faintly and did not stir.

Logan paused and rubbed his eyes. "Because I always feel like I fuck up with you, Jules. And I'm not sure why you keep coming back, but I'm glad you do. Because I fall apart when you're gone."

"That song is supposed to be sarcastic, Logan."

"Well, I was being genuine," Logan muttered.

"You…" Jules turned away very slightly. "I've never heard you call yourself weak before."

"With these drugs I am," Logan snapped, a little too quickly, before quietly adding, "With you I am."

Julian looked back at Logan with a grin. "You think I love you?"

Logan laughed, but then with a deep sigh, became serious. "Julian, I know this is awkward. But you know I don't have a fucking filter. And I get it, you're straight, and we're friends, but I'm in love with you and I don't care how I have to do it, but if I can make you smile like that all the time – fuck – I'll do anything."

"You're in love with Hummel." It wasn't a question.

"Jules, it came crashing down on me today. Kurt Hummel is a poor man's Julian Larson."

"And you're not a poor man." It was almost a question.

"How could I be? You're my best friend. I know I've been kind of shitty about that, but I told you – I'm going to fix that. And don't worry, I'm not going to woo you – "

"All that chasing you usually do and you've already given up on me?"

"Jules, you're straight. And my best friend. I never had anything to lose with the others."

"Lo, I'm bi."

Several things hit Logan all at once. He couldn't remember the last time Julian had used his nickname and it felt like a confession in itself. But more importantly, Julian was bi. _Bi._ What was stopping him from moving a few inches forward and kissing Julian silly? He had suddenly went from impossible to attainable, but that didn't necessarily mean he wanted Logan too.

But of course he wanted Logan too. Of all the times to mention that you're bi, Logan was sure Julian had waited until now on purpose. And then there was that hint that _he _had been the reason Julian wanted to leave.

Without hearing Logan's wheels turning, Julian felt the weight of his declaration and tried to fix it with some sort of retort.

"Hey, it doesn-"

But Logan had stopped thinking and brought his head forward just enough for the two pairs of lips to meet. He brought his hands to Julian's face carefully. He wasn't kissing Julian silly, but as Logan's mind found its way back to all of his regrets, he thought that maybe gentle was a better way to start.

It became clear to Logan that Julian disagreed as the brunette pulled the blonde closer to him, deepening the kiss. Logan moaned faintly into the kiss before pulling away.

"Please don't leave," he whispered desperately to the actor whose hands gripped Logan's face.

"I…" Julian's thumb stroked Logan's cheek lightly and gave a small laugh. "I was actually about to ask you the same thing."


End file.
